"Home is where the heart is."..wow, never relized how true that was!!
When I last posted Jonathan was in the hospital, that was only the beginning of what has turned out to be one ot the longest and by far the most stressful weeks of my life!
Wednesday afternoon, shortly after I last posted ,I got Jordan up from his nap. He was very crabby and obviously wasn't feeling well. I was alone with him all day because my mom was with Joanthan and my dad worked till 10pm. Between 6:30 and 7:30 he cried NON-STOP every second of that hour. I've never heard anyone cry that long except when a baby has colic. That night he was up crying for hours. Neither my dad or I got much sleep. We decided to take him to the Dr's but relized my mom's car (which has the carseats in it) was at the hospital 20 min. away. So my dad had to drive all the way there, grab a car seat, drive all the way back here, and go back there to take him to the Dr's. In the meantime, Jordan woke up and is wheezing like crazy, just like Jonathan was. He's never had any asthma problems before!! I'm here freaking out because he could hardly breathe , but his breathing was extremelly fast (1 breath a second). I called my mom at the hospital and she called the Dr. who called me back and told me to put Jordan on the nebulizer. I'd never done it before, but figured it out... giving it to Jordan was the biggest wrestling match of my life!!
So finally, it's 10 am... we get to the Dr's office and the hallway is awfully dark. I thought it was weird, but didn't think much of it... until the elevator didn't work and someone came and told us the power was out in the whole town of Springville. Since they didn't have power at the Dr's, they sent us straight to the emergency room. By this point I was already near the point of crying. When I don't get sleep and you put stress on top of it, I never fail to crumble.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that that morning I also woke up sick with the same cold/flu thing the boys had, so I was
NOT feeling well either.
After they treated Jordan in the ER they sent him up to a room right next door to Jonathan. So now, as if having Jonathan in the hospital wasn't bad enough, they're both there!! :(
I have to admit I learned alot through this though. No matter what, God always works things out! To start with, my mom had already spent a night at the hospital and was working on day #3 with very little sleep and lot's of stress.
She was to the point of breakdown and was so tired she was starting to talk nonsense...as in, what she was saying wasn't even making sense anymore. So in walks Betty, a neighbor and friend. She knew that Jonathan was there, but hadn't known about Jordan. She volunteered to stay with Jonathan that night, so my mom could go home. Without Betty, I don't know what would've happened to my mom. A true God send!!! I spent the rest of Thursday and that night there with Jordan.
Thursday night Jonathan was starting to get to his old self and feeling much better. His Dr. came and saw him and said he should be able to go home in the morning.
So dawns Friday. I had barely gotten any sleep between the times Jordan woke up and about the 20 times Dr's walked in the room that night! Jonathan's wheezing is gone, he is like completely normal and I am SO READY to leave that hospital and am living on the fact that he should be going home. Jordan was alot better too and I was praying that maybe they'd even let him go home. About noon the Dr. ( from their Dr's office, but a different Dr because their Dr was off that day) comes. What does he say? They BOTH have to stay another day, and Jordan possibly till Sunday!!! My mom told me and I collasped crying. There's something about a hospital that makes you feel like you're loosing your mind and I wanted to go home!! I didn't understand why... they were doing nothing for him except giving him nebulizer treatments every 4 hrs. He was up playing, running around -COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!! All signs of sickness were GONE!!! Maybe that's what made me madest, he was there and didn't need to be. The dr just wanted to keep him there to keep an eye on him, but he was fine!!! I was So homesick - just give me QUIET!!! my bed, no germs and normality and I was still sick and feeling rotten. My dad came all the way from work just to take me home, even though he then had to go back and work till 2 am (Thanks dad!!). Without that I would've never lived. I came home and ran into the shower. I felt so grimmey and so dirty/germy !! The whole time I was home I cried and cried. I totally didn;t want to go back. MY mom told me I could stay home the night, but I knew she needed me and elected to go back anyways. I was ready 5 min before my dad was and went outside and sat in the dark listening to the crickets... PEACE!!! Ahhhh.... :)
Saturday ( thois morning) dawns.... I'm in alot better mood, though extreamly disappointed at todays plans, which were ruined. I've been signed up for a month to go to "The Gathering" in Central NY with my old youth group and was really looking forward to it. Anyways, both boys were doing pretty well and we were more than ready to get in a child proof zone. I promise you, 2 boys running aroung, feeling normal, around all kinds of stuff they can't tough, beds they could fall off... 2 hrs of it, you're ready to drop dead and they're still going! At 1 pm their real Dr came and released them both!! I was SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! All Jonathan had been saying since Thurs. is " go home, go home". I was finally able to tell him we were. :) We're home now and I must sound like a broken record to God, because all I've been saying to God for the past 2 hrs is " thank you so much that we're home!!" I've never been so happy to be home in my life! And poor Sammy... he's been 1 neglected dog this week!
But I gotta wonder if God did this just to teach me something. Last night, when I was cryng and beside myself, I opened up my binder to see this paper I have taped inside:
Whatever your trial,
God sees.
Whatever your struggle,
God knows.
Whatever your cry,
God hears.
Whatever your difficulty,
God cares.
Whatever your problem,
God understands.
Whatever your need,
God provides.
I've kept that saying for a couple years, read it tons of times. But how awesome I had my binder at the hospital and opned to that right when I needed it more than ever. God was at work there. It got me thinking and comforted me tremendously. THEN last night when I got home, I got the mail and there was "Hidden Wisdom" (thanks so much for getting that for me Nessa!!). I brought that to the hospital with me and opened it up to the first article by Abigal Paul...
God was again speaking to me:
"In everything give thanks: for this is the perfect will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" 1 Thes. 5:18
"....... It's easy to wish things were somehow different, to complain, to gripe, to whine. But instead God is telling us to give thanks in everything - "for this is the will of God..." You know what that means?
THIS specific situation that I find awkward,
THIS trial or disappointment,
THIS seeming impossibility,
THIS difficult person I'm dealing with,
THIS impending crisis,
THIS unfulfilled desire,
THIS physical weakness,
THIS precise place and postion I find myself in today -
THIS is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning me."
Okay God - point taken!! Wow, between that and the other thing, it's quite obvious God was trying to get a point across to me. Yeah, I'm under the biggest amount of stress I've ever had, yeah, I HATE it. But God is using it somehow, someway, even if I don't know how, for whatever reason and therefore I should give thanks. He had me here, becaue it was HIS will. I wasn't forgotten about, He was with me and knew what I was going through. BUT IT WAS HIS WILL AND HE WAS USING IT FOR THE BETTER!! And what am I doing? Crying, complaining, etc. How must that have made Him feel. I was in alot better mood this morning... I guess in a sense I did feel forgotten about before. Yes, I learned ALOT through this experience... And I am SO thankful for it!!
Whew... I'm home, somehow I managed to get better doing every home remedy I knew of... and I think the biggest of the storm has blown over. And I learned something very important as well. :)
Sorry for any spelling mistakes... I don't have time to proof read this!!!
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